Sunday, December 26, 2010

Jetsetter (?)

In One Ear - Cage the Elephant

It is 4:25 pm. It's getting dark already. It's disconcerting.

I leave tomorrow and I am mostly ready. There are a bunch of little bitty things that still need to be done, like washing out that empty thermos that's been lying in the corner for weeks...I have to check my status pages at all the schools and hope that they don't call me until Jan 14th. Oh, and I need to (figure out how to) change my voicemail message thingy. I need to watch all of the videos that come up when you search "traveler's spanish" on youtube.

I will have reasonable internet access but will probably not be blogging. However, there is a group blog...link will be posted on facebook shortly.

I am currently going through a pop-culturally delayed "your mom" joke phase. If you say anything to me, I am likely to respond with "just like your mom" (or yo mama or even y tu mama tambien)(much too lazy to look up the accentos).

I went to an extremely intellectual dinner party yesterday. Almost everyone in the "kids' room" was a banker (...), med student, dental student, health policy student, or sibling of a Rhodes Scholar. We watched She's the Man, discussed Justin Bieber, and debated the merits of the Princess Diaries I vs. II.

In two days, I will have been on seven planes in the last two months.

I've been fervently wishing for 2011 for a long time. See y'all then.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Still coffee and neuroscience

Over - Lindsay Lohan

(I've given up on Miley and needed another hapless starlet to hang my hopes on, so it's back to the Lindsay bandwagon)
(she's only HUMAN you guys)
(and that video is drama. Go on, click on it.)

Speaking of things being over, I have received two rejections and two "silent rejections"...#terminology
One of the schools supposedly gives post-interview decisions on the 23rd of every month. Do you think they'll be working the day before the day before Jesus Day?

Remember when this blog used to be about (read: link to) important things? but now it's just about me. I'm sorry. School does this to me. Also KK takes every other week off, and the things she does write are barely even amusing anymore.

And DADT got repealed and T-Paw is leaving soon so like..what can I even complain about?

Um, two finals left..but like, they happen every few months. I don't know why this surprises people.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Coffee and neuroscience

Blue Blood Blues - The Dead Weather

5 days until school is done.
9 days until Peru.

Good morning.

UPDATE @5:14 pm: I am currently wearing a turban. I made it myself by wrapping a scarf on my head. If someone could please buy me a giant hair bow to go with it, that would be just lovely. (The black one, plsthks.)

Meredith is coming back soon and she is bringing me lots and lots of PANTS.

David is also coming back soon, but I am pretty sure he is not bringing me any pants.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here

Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap

(yes, you can make fun of me for posting musicalish things)

The next 24 hours have so many different things I need to do/study/practice/memorize that it is physically impossible for me to do it all. Having accepted this, I feel very calm and not like it's "finals week". Anyway, it will all get done--it always does, somehow.

On a semi-related note, how do people lose weight when they're stressed? I'm a stereotypical stress eater. It is 8:30 am and I've had two breakfasts, too much coffee, and oreos and m&m's.

Sometime between 8 and 8:15, my lab presentation turned from a complete joke into something semi-legitimate....what. Oh, and the melanopsin lecture yesterday. It was brilliant. It was a thesis defense and I was amazed that the grad student was such a good lecturer/presenter that I was able to follow the entire time, and I feel like everyone got something meaningful out of it, from her non-scientist family members to the department heads. It was the most jam-packed defense I've been to, too; not surprising when you consider that she has already published two (three?) papers in prestigious journals and basically single-handedly figured out the subtypes of intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells.

And, they served really good wraps.

Here is a picture of a pirate.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

We need to talk.

Dear Pubmed,

I love you, I really do. I spend more time with you than with Google or Wikipedia, and that's saying something. But I just... I just need a break. Your uniformly bolded titles and neatly organized (and always relevant!) "Relevant citations" section are starting to imprint permanently into my retina. The thing is, science is complicated. I know that. But do you really have to reveal how little I know after keystroke? Every time, Pubmed? It's a little insulting. Could you please just pretend that I know something meaningful once in awhile?

The last straw was when I was about to turn in my gigantic term paper, did a quick search to confirm something, and found that an article has just been published that topples the fundamental concept underlying my paper.

What do you mean, fractalkine and CX3CR1 aren't monogamous?!?

Ignorance is bliss, Pubmed. I think you and I should make like fractalkine/CX3R1 and see other chemoki-- I mean, people for awhile.

Please don't take this personally.

Sincerely,
A tired science student

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Almost there

The title of my term paper is "Fractalkine signaling in the development and initial maintenance of chronic pain" and it is...a pain.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. I'll be here all week, and probably the next week.

Also, Cordelia is not cooperating, and my mother's computer and I don't really get along...there are bunnies on her desktop, and there is no backspace button.

Friday, December 10, 2010

A means to mighty ends

A bit of background information is in order. Many med schools are currently in a state of curriculum flux. It is not unusual to hear an admissions rep refer to it as "transitioning". Anyhow, this last one is changing in a rather different way from most. With that out of the way I now present to you a special reversed and non-fake edition of question-and-answer.

Q: Can you tell me more about the curriculum change? Why is the basic science stage so much shorter than at other schools?

A: We basically took all the redundancies- and scrapped them.

Boom.
I want to go to there.

Favorite interview day. First off: three hours, in and out. This was great because as much as I'm used to a long school day, one of these things going for 8 hours or whatever is extremely tiring.

Also, in researching this school I noticed how many absolutely innovative ideas come out of that place every day- whether it's a truly groundbreaking way of educating or internal efforts to make healthcare more affordable.

Oldest public hospital in the country. "Pre-revolutionary"--as in the war.
The first ambulance. (It was a horse-and-buggy affair.)

I teared up during the tour...twice. I'm not even sure why. #goingcrazy
Hopefully no one noticed...

Also they had really delicious sandwiches...
I really hope they let me in. It will be hard to hide my disappointment if they don't.

Also I'm kind of over airports now...too bad I have to go to another in less than three weeks...wait, WHAT?!

Me: Well, when it comes to chronic pain treatments, it was hoped that the human genome project...
Interviewer: Now that was a pain, wasn't it?!

"Prometheus, teacher in every art, brought the fire that hath proved to mortals a means to mighty ends."
--Aeschylus

"When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite cell B and repeatedly or persistently takes part in firing it, some growth process or metabolic change takes place in one or both cells such that A's efficiency, as one of the cells firing b, is increased."
--Hebb's postulate, describing activity-dependent synaptic plasticity

the Arthur theme song - Ziggy Marley

Kal Ho Naa Ho - I love this song, okay? don't judge me.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Silly rabbit

Shelter - the xx

Recently it was suggested to me that I go into psychiatry, something I've never considered. I've never even taken a psych class. But I think my mother would be upset if I became a psychiatrist.

To do: Obtain a pizza permit.
Also...why hasn't Fergie done another solo album? Just wondering.

Okay, I really hope the last few hours fill my application-related depression quota for the week... because I am going to be CALM for this one.

CALM!!1!

this is working.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Circadian rhythm

We survived November. High five y'all.

I think this is Thoughtful Discussion Week. A deconstruction of abortion law on the connector (probably not the best place...) with fellow TA (happy birthday Ali!).

[Side note: I was telling my lab TA about one of the hospitals I toured on Monday. The women's hospital is ultra-swanky and has birthing suites with room service, and you can request a view of the lake. For you know. If you want to look at the lake while giving birth. Anyway the TA laughed and said something like, "...as if I was ever going to give birth anyway." And I kind of stared at her. And she continued, "Well I might consider adopting someday. But giving birth myself, no. Never."

Okay. I'm not sure why my reaction was to quickly look around to see if anyone else had heard her. And just being a little shocked that she shared that with me. I guess I just assumed that people who reject the "be fruitful and multiply" dogma would feel compelled to hide it or be apologetic about it; she was neither. And that is frickin amazing and caught me absolutely off guard. I tried to make a joke about how frank she was being and failed miserably and quietly went back to my microscope....well handled, self. I really hope I didn't make her feel awkward.]

Also a convo with a fellow Peru-tripper about our experiences with crazy pre-meds and how incredibly insensitive some of them are. And I was more than a little self-righteous, I'll admit, in telling her that those ones never get "there" (or at least, I have only seen very calm and articulate and kind people there). It was really more about the culture of ridiculousness that surrounds this whole process. There is a whole industry of companies that prey on terrified high schoolers and college students---you have to take X course to get Y score on section Z and you have to have an interview coach and have your essays proof-read a year ahead of time. And the student groups. Let's not even talk about the student groups.

Also, I think there will soon be a discussion of New Atheism. And I almost picked a fight with Zach about birds, but someone else did it for me, and better than I would have.

Now playing: Shots shots shots shots shots shots, etc. I'm not sure why this is happening.

Also if somebody could remind me to go to that lecture on melanopsin...that would be great. One chemical that's possibly the key to our mental, emotional, hormonal responses to day and night. Wheee. And, there will be cookies.

Umm, please read this. I went through the 3D scanning thing, but then they still had to give me a "pat down" since there was a zipper on my shirt. The pat down consisted of confirming that there was, in fact, a zipper on my shirt.

Third one was tricky. I'm not sure how it went. But, fourth one's the charm, right?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Bloodsucker

"It's really fun, and it's wild, a little crazy...a little awkward, but it'll be okay."

Story of my life, K$.

Today, songs about bloodsuckers. I promise that this was a coincidence.

Goals
1. stay calm.
2. be friendly, not paranoid. (Been surprisingly good about this so far.)
3. be the least nervous person in the room.
4. do NOT fall in the lake. This is of utmost importance.

I liked this article about how children's stomachaches are taken less seriously than headaches. However, this part made me distinctly uncomfortable: "Studies in which researchers inflated balloons in children’s intestines suggested..."

Uhh? Is that really valid experimental protocol? And the kids' parents agreed to that? This reminds me, I just signed a thingy saying I am willing to learn and demonstrate competency in performing digital rectal examinations--thinking maybe they mean digital as in fingers, not clocks. Hmm. Well, so long as I can wear two sets of gloves.

'“If it was all in his head, he’d have a headache,” Dr. Rosh said. “Clearly there’s something happening in his belly.”' Good one Dr. Rosh.

RAPID FIRE ROUND

Q: What do you look for in a friend?

A: Someone who will buy me cheetos and/or m&m's.

Q: Know any good jokes?

A: Just the one about the emu.

Q: Tell me about a time when you thought outside the box.

A: Well last week, I ate at Taco Bell.

Q: My house is infested with chipmunks. What should I do?

A: Move.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sleepy Sunday

I used my mostly computerless day (morning) to do lots of grading, sleep, learn ("learn") a little bit about LTP, make and eat a lot of stuff that was meant for my sister, and make a dent in the giant stack of magazines that has accumulated in the corner since mid-July...seriously, I keep buying them and not reading ("reading") them. (Bad things happen when you actually read the words. For example, today I learned about a woman called the "Fat Whisperer". She listens to cells' plasma membranes and talks to them to coax them out...? and people lose weight from this...?)

There is probably not actually this much time to waste; it is seven days until the next one; this one marks It's Getting Serious.

more cawffee.

shawls >>> sweaters

Should I get a tumblr..? except, I think you have to be artsy to qualify.

If I knew someone named Nancy, I would call her Nancypants.
Hairspiration. (that's supposed to be like "inspiration", not "perspiration")

Love,
Tyra

Saturday, November 20, 2010

HP7

"I think I have a very gentle crush on Emma Watson." -Dannielle

I don't really know what a "very gentle crush" constitutes, but basically, it should be called Hermione Granger and the Deathly Hallows, amirite?!

Yes, I saw it this morning and no, I did not read the list of side effects on the oral typhoid fever vaccine I took just before leaving...basically I'm really bad at watching movies.

While we're at it, what is with Blair having a feminist moment right when everything was falling into place?

Dear Blair,
I don't need you to be a magical feminist for your career. I don't even know what your career is other than "power". Also, you are barely a sophomore in college. Stop being stupid. Continue being Chuck Bass's girlfriend. You may now resume your Saturday.

Just set Hipster Potter as my background. so real. can't deal.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hey so..

I also love harry potter but am having a very hard time caring.

Happy David's birthday and senioritis kick-off day everyone.

Just kidding. I'm a responsible student.

bloop bloop bloop
time to stay up all night writing a paper and cramming for a midterm...sounds about right.

There's not a single exclamation point in the email. I feel like this sort of thing deserves an exclamation point.

This also means I can no longer use "you idiot how will you ever get into med school?" as self-motivation. darn.

...you idiot how will you ever get matched for residency?

(If I start thinking about this too seriously I will start weeping and be completely unproductive. If you are reading this- thank you, thank you, thank you. you are beautiful people. Especially Amelia, you are the light of my life.)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Fatwah fatwah

"You are not your fucking khakis." -Zach

I never did like khakis. I am my plaid pajamas though.

Also, not prepared for tomorrow, blah blah blah same story. I employed my Official Stress Coping Strategy and went to sleep yesterday (step #2) because I was freaking out big time.

1. Lady Gaga watch. Yes. It is shiny, from China, and awesome. I will wear it tomorrow. convo starter.
2. HP. Can't even deal.
3. Cell bio high score? doesn't that render my complaints about the class moot? Shucks. The TA drew some pretty fishy smiley faces on my exam.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Model Monday

Jessica Clarke joins Karlie on Team 17 Year Olds Who are Successful Without Being Total Morons (see Momsen, Taylor and Cyrus, Miley).

P.S. Having serious case of Homework Complacency.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

One under my belt/future directions

Q: "So, what made you decide to become a doctor?"

A: "House." I will then exit the room.

My actual response to the "spare time" question: "Um, I like to read comics..." to which he responded with a grave nod of understanding. (Don't worry, there was more to the answer, I just really enjoyed his reaction to the comics.)

P.S. Excited to break out of the midwest and go to the BIG CITY. should probably buy pepper spray first.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Road trip

I'm just gonna wing it

she says for the umpteenth time.

I will just be sure to use "literally" incorrectly, and bring extra snark to the convo.
There will also be a uterus luncheon...

Update:
UGH. Stupid David made me start thinking about the "real meaning" behind "medicine" and all that "important stuff". For real though. It's so easy to get caught up in this...what, auditions process? Pageantry?

#perspective
#dammitdavid

Monday, November 8, 2010

Fortune cookie

"Fortune smiles upon you at this time."

What up, world. Don't even try to argue with my cookie.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sunday Soundtrack

Anything by:

Bat for Lashes
Amanda Blank
The Dead Weather

Reading list/wish list ie feel free to buy me these:

Everything ever written by Atul Gawande
More Aldous Huxley
Everything ever written by Tim Gunn

Q: What do you like to do in your spare time?

A: I like harry potter, comics, and dancing. I have dabbled in various instrument-playing endeavors. I also recently applied cold oatmeal to my face.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Ecology

"Every morn in Africa a gazelle wakes up; he knows he must outrun the fastest lion or he will be killed. Every morn in Africa a lion wakes up; he knows he must outrun the slowest gazelle or he will starve. It doesn't matter if you are the gazelle or the lion. When morning comes, you better be running."

This is especially true as I accomplished very little today.

When morning comes, you better be running.

While we're at it, sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

I also firmly believe that the egg came first.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Some words

"If there's anyone I hate on, it's a bully."
-Vinny from Jersey Shore

real wisdom.
I like to watch "it gets better" videos early in the morning. Only the famous people ones though, like Nancy Pelosi or Kermit.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Pre-November

This November will be the most insane month of my life so far.

This post was supposed to be about how I'm ready...I'm not. I'm terrified.

Okay, no, that's not completely true. I'm just not as fully prepared as I'd like to be. Wish I had more time. The first one is on a Friday, with a social-type thing the night before. But on Thursday morning before leaving, I have to register. Also a term paper, midterm, make-up lab and quiz, actual lab and quiz earlier in the week. poo. Hopefully, after the first one, I'll realize I'm actually good at this (because, well...I probably am) and not worry so much. When I worry, I can feel the blinders closing in, narrowing my view and obstructing the important stuff.

I forgot that this evening will be spent hiding from the children.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Argh

Facebook chat is broken and I have things that I need to talk about with people.
especially because my mother is having none of that right now.

I'm not equipped to deal with good news.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Catching up

Model Monday has been celebrated rather sparsely. I give you Abbey Lee.

She also doubles as the lesbian of the week, even though I'm not sure she's "officially" lesbian; however, I am pretty sure she is still dating Freja Beha, who is fabulous unto herself.

Also I want my hair to be this color pls.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

There are no links in this post

So, um. I'm trying to prepare for you-know-what that is coming up you-know-when. I should have done more during September.

September was really nice. Everything was turned in and I convinced myself that not thinking about it (read: not preparing) was the best route. Bliss.

The people on those forums are straight-up jerks. They harass each other for posting what I think are completely reasonable questions. They respond, "If you have to ask that, you'll never be a doctor."

No. If you respond like that, regardless of whether you actually become a doctor, there is not a single patient who will want to be alone in a room with you. There is not a single patient who will feel comfortable asking you to clarify any instructions to them. There is not a single colleague who will want to seek your opinion on a difficult case, or to commend you on a job well done.

You guys know me--I'm not mushy-gushy. But there are standards, and this is a service industry. Service, as in serving others. If "maturity" and "life experience" have robbed you of that sincerity and replaced it with cynicism, with jadedness, with no real desire to make things better, I will take my lack of "life experience", my naivete, my immaturity, every day of the week.

Including Sunday.

I think I'm ready to write now.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

WWGCD

1. "There is something profoundly diseased about a society that idolizes its ignoramuses and disdains its experts."


The rest of the article isn't hugely interesting to me. But snark toward competence, a mistrust of people who know what they're doing, is as American as apple pie. I don't believe it's restricted to the political sphere.

2. When feeling doubtful in a social situation, just ask yourself,

What would George Costanza do?


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Longer than the long run

Here's my question.

Does tolerance include tolerance for intolerance?

Also, stealing Zach's words,

"I want to write about being a feminist."

I've tried. I've started multiple posts and saved them and never gone back to them. It seems silly that it's so difficult to write about. Not because of any personal memory--I can't remember a time I've been discriminated against because of my gender (this is probably because, as a rule, I don't take no bitchassness). It's another one of those things that seems silly to discuss because it's obvious.

In the meantime, read Amelia's post on it. David thought it was cute.

(No links. You all know where to find each other.)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Words for happy adults

In other news, though I have not been keeping up with his work (i'm sorry), John Campbell is my hero.

Also it is WTF Wednesday, but I don't have anything to share except that some people think a gorilla is an acceptable substitute for a phospholipid.
(not unless the gorilla's head is hydrophilic and it has two hydrophobic tails)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Another letter

Dear Katherine,

Reading your column makes me shake in anger. My family makes fun of me for getting "so emotional" over a newspaper article. I have two things to say to you.

1. How dare you claim to speak for the children.
2. Kindly fuck off.

Sincerely,
Over your attention-whore bullshit.

...

For happiness, please watch Ke$ha's new video. That girl gets more fabulous every day.

click, click. snap.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Harmony, accord, affinity, slashes

Lab-partner-who-is-almost-twice-my-age and I totally have a rapport established.

Poor misguided soul: Humans are overly concerned with profit. harumph.
LPWIATMA: But everything animals do, they do for profit...
LPWIATMA and I, at same time: ...evolutionary profit.

you had to be there. Hilarious.

YOU GUYS. It is Lesbian Saturday and I do not have a cool lesbian for you to learn about. I am trying to stay away from the cliche lesbians i.e. Ellen, Portia, even though they are awesome. So um...feel free to contribute a lesbian.

Also. I have three research projects/papers/presentations all dealing in some way with neural mechanisms of pain (opioid modulation of/the role of glia in/affective side of, respectively). It's getting pretty complicated/insane/exciting/scary. It is pretty cool to have so much independence in these projects but actually have the tools/resources/capacity to do them in a reasonable way (looking at you, 2003/2004).

Last, I have to decapitate Mr. Rat Baby :(

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The yooj

Today's cell biology lecture will be about active vs. passive transport, the Nernst equation, patch clamp technology, and ion channels. Please

1. Read an earlier post titled "Redundancy", then
2. Make this a non-clicker class so I can just stop going.
3. Also I swear half the people in the class are total sycophants. Laughing at every single "joke" of his will not help you on the test, kids. I promise.

In happy news
The rat is alive and well, save for his shaved and neatly sutured head. I'm glad I volunteered for the scrub nurse role; I actually got to do more stuff than the surgeon--all of the injections (not easy on a squirming rodent), surgery prep, drilling calculations/measurements, and the actual dye injections. The surgeon of our group did a great job, even while freaking out and declaring that she would never be a surgeon. Mr. Rat Baby was almost completely conscious by the time she had to sew him up, and we had already maxed out our anesthetics, so she was suturing an extremely unhappy, wildly wriggling rodent. But our group was first done and the only ones to not make a major mistake (injecting four times too much dye, suturing the surgical drape to the rat's head...) or have our animal die. Wheeee.

Um. I also volunteered our group to do the first presentation. But none of us actually know what affective pain IS.

...Pubmed Thursday.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

In Limbo

Currently stress-coping by denying/avoiding the problems. Let us weekend roundup instead.

1. Oh, shut UP already. You want to talk about indoctrination, Katherine, I'm wondering how well-rounded your own children's views are. And aren't college freshmen old enough to be able to critically evaluate others' viewpoints or ideologies? Seems kinda disrespectful to imply that they can be brainwashed so simply. Also, notice the specific attack on the freshmen traditions (well, new tradition) at our school, that is, her alma mater.

2. This made me laugh. Especially the part about the restaurants. To be fair, if my family is speaking our special brand of foreignness at a restaurant, it is likely because we are making fun of the people at nearby tables.

3. The "what to wear to interviews" suggestions are continuing to crack me up.
  • I learned that "fishnet-style hosiery" is not appropriate. Dangit.
  • Dark colors are safer...does this mean I can't wear yellow pants?
  • Cover tattoos. But there are just so many...
  • Remove any body piercings except earrings. Notice this doesn't specify how many earrings. Loophole! Also. How does one go removing a piercing?
  • Wear your hair out of your eyes. Not gonna happen. It's 3 inches now.
  • Looking ahead in this article/course, there is a "body language" section. Uh oh. Prediction: "Try to look less short. Use stilts as necessary."
  • Give a proper credible handshake with a full firm handshake. Okay, leaving aside the fact that I think handshake evaluations are ridiculous, I have a lot of trouble with handshakes. Can someone help me out? Credible Handshake Training?
  • Uhh, what.
4. Are my links becoming too predictable? There should be more about reality TV, right?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

#1

This is the part where I become so completely terrified of and paralyzed by my to-do list that I don't do anything. Hello there, first panic attack of the school year. Nice to meet you.

Except it's different this year. I have never been a senior before. I have never been through a major life change--next year, regardless of how everything plays out, I will not be in a normal academic environment.

Planning for this trip is starting to freak me out too. I've never been away from my parents for more than a couple of days. There are basic like skills that I'm becoming painfully aware I lack. I don't want to blame my parents for this. They stopped being my primary sheltering force years ago.

Anyway this probably isn't coherent. I've barely slept in four days and am starting to get sick. whine whine whine etc.

Um, hopefully will get it together before being responsible for keeping a rat alive through cranial surgery on Wednesday.

Also have been notified that my background color or text color needs to change. It will happen at some point.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Convos

I have a practical midterm tomorrow morning, and have not studied one whit. This is certainly an interesting decision. I'm not sure how it happened.

Sister: Poop is, uh.
Me: Yes?
Sister: Poop is...a thing. A noun! A person, place, or thing.

-later-

Me: Wait, you're going to Vegas tomorrow? For how long? I have no deets on this sitch, mother.
Mother: No, I have no deets on this sitch, daughter!

Status: Fewer than 12 hours before midterm. Feeling strangely calm.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday has identity issues.

"I set up a donkey and a camel animal cracker in a 'make-out sesh' configuration. Then took a picture.

Then I ate both of them. I feel like Freud is geekin out right now."

-Anonymous confession. It is TMI Monday after all.

Some years ago a friend gifted me a plastic T-Rex. It is about a foot tall and lives in my bookshelf. Some months ago I bought a plastic T-Rex. It is about a half inch tall and lives on my desk. I am a T-Rex. I am about five feet tall and live in a fort under the dining table. Together, we are a Russian nesting doll.

Toying with the idea of Model Monday? Fifi here lives in the background of my google calendar. It's a pretty high honor.

If this post seems forced, it's because it was written under duress.


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Hodgepodge

1. Stale column on campaign financing, as predicted last week. I like the comment insisting that ads don't drive elections, the issues do. Still chuckling over that one.

2. Agreeing with Katherine. Next thing you know, I'll switch my major to philosophy.

3. To be fair, baldness is a really big deal. It's unsightly and is actually threatening the survival of the human population, so. Yeah. Please stop ragging on baldness research, Nick.

4. Florals.
But please. If you are reading this.
Do not attempt red bubble shorts. Thanks in advance.

5. We need a better interface between scientists (and/or those who are informed about science) and non-scientists (and/or the majority of the voting populace). I don't actually have any suggestions for one (this guy does, though). But I'm pretty it's one of the most important things our generation can do to help the planet survive and allow our civilization to progress.

#exaggerationsunday
#exceptnotreally

6. I'm thinking of making this thing private. Dunno how much googling schools actually engage in, but as a safety measure? Also, creepers. I creep, therefore others must creep. Weigh in if you'd like.

7. Cool science magazine I found today. I look forward to exploring it more thoroughly, but for now, just read about the soul through the lens of neuroscience.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Despair Saturday?

"[T]he only way to balance the budget by 2020, while simultaneously (a) making the Bush tax cuts permanent and (b) protecting all the programs the Republicans say they won't cut, is to completely abolish the rest of the federal government". (Krugman)


"The rhetoric will fly. Childishness will mount. Public nausea will hit an all-time high." (Brooks)


Opposite sides of the ideological spectrum, obviously, but each of them has a point. And the first one just terrifies. Some Collins to cleanse the palate:

"I lived through what was perhaps the greatest social shift in the history of our culture. You all did, too, unless you’re young enough to have been born into a brand-new platform of gender equality that was created, really, just for you."

Thanks, Gail.

Not to fear, though, I still have your weekly dose of lesbian. Meet Kayla (pictures 1, 2, and 3). She always sounds like she's crying. Totally adorable.

P.S. I'm sorry I link so much. It's because I don't have original thoughts.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Days of the Week

This is how it's gonna go.

Link Sunday. TMI Monday. False Statement Wednesday. [prof name retracted] Friday. Lesbian Saturday/Advice Saturday.

Um, everyone can have Tuesday and Thursday off in order to actually do things. (Unless someone has a better idea?)

EDIT: Stream-of-Consciousness Wall Posts Thursday. Points to whoever remembers who originally came up with it.

Also. Guess what is happening at my house tonight. MOM WARS. It's going to be good. I will have first aid ready. Obvs my mom will win. she has really long nails.

Also. Y'all should be reading David's travel blag. You will actually learn things.

Also. There will be paragraphs next time.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Link Sunday

You guys. This weekend has been all kinds of ridiculous. Let's get started.

1. In the midst of celebrating Lesbian Saturday (it was also Advice Saturday, because I am an old sage), I've spent an inordinate amount of time on Everyone is Gay. So adorable and I am feeling all open-minded and stuff, and I want a shirt that says "Love is love is love," if someone could make that happen for me please. Even when my grandparents woke me up today at about 3:45 am with their (surprisingly loud) morning breathing exercises and yoga routine, all I could think was, "You know, they're doing their thing, and that's cool, and I'm doing my thing, and everything is just cooool." In my defense, 3:45 am is not the best time to think coherently.

2. Continuing temporally, I had a real conversation with my grandparents for the first time since they landed on Wednesday. My Hindi speaking skills have faded rather more quickly than I ant to admit, so I mostly listened (shocking!). They went to the library yesterday and basically got every book about cancer and/or the U.S. healthcare system. Here's hoping I can learn by osmosis.

My grandfather was diagnosed with leukemia two years ago and was declared cancer-free about a year ago. We talked about their experience navigating differing diagnoses, expensive treatments, and doctors who said they couldn't do anything more. Then, they went to a doctor of "holistic medicine".

At this point, I have to introduce the Indian definition of homeopathy. It's not what you're thinking--not the water has memory, serial dilutions, bonkers stuff. I have decidedly mixed feelings on all of the above. (See: my previous experience with arsenic-based supplements.) It's more accurately called Ayurveda, and is based on writings in religious texts such as the Vedas and basically lots of passed-down knowledge about the medicinal properties of various plants that are indigenous to the Indus Valley.

Anyway, my grandfather was in the midst of A.L.L. treatment and contracted severe pneumonia on top of that. The doctors were ready to put him on the ventilator. My grandmother started giving him the pills the holistic doctor had prescribed, and he actually improved overnight.

I'm a sucker for peer review. and pharmacology. So when, this morning, they handed me a bottle of plant extract, I started pubmed-ing and found this. Definitely something for me to look into. I've been pretty dismissive of "Eastern" medicine in the past, but it does not make sense to ignore therapies that are based on natural ingredients, just because they weren't synthesized in some lab under fluorescent lights. Will report back with my findings.

3. Oh hey, state politics.

"Does the lack of discussion about women's issues mean the state of women is good?"

hahahahahaha. omg. Yes. Problem solved. Let's all move on.

This commenter particularly disturbed me: "Pick a more timely, relevant and pressing fight, Nick. Triage. Fix the life-threatening problems, and then move on to the next highest problems. This is not the top problem."

Ahem. Please excuse me while I scream, and then vomit.
Women's rights are always an issue.
How many single women can't support their children as a direct result of wage disparities? How many children end up in our broken adoption system because of that?

This is not about a measly 24 cents on the dollar. It is about a class of people who are second-class citizens almost everywhere in the world. It is about a system of thinking and dismissing that has lasted for literally thousands of years. And yes, anonymous commenter, it is a life-or-death issue. Would you rather he wrote the same stale column everyone else is, about gubernatorial campaign financing? Yeah, I can see that killing people.

Oh btw. Why does it have to be solely about life and death? Doesn't quality of life matter?

Anyway. Remember to not have children. An atheist will probably eat them.

4. Weekly you-know-who update. I didn't bother reading this time. Let me know if there's anything particularly outrageous.

5. This music video concerns me. But I like the song, and am still holding out hope for Little J, for some reason. Just please, get new extensions. It looks like something fell in a bucket of bleach, died, and landed on your head.

6. Read about Meredith's language troubles. What a silly bean.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Important announcements

1. My grandparents are here.

2. Grading is depressing and my hand's shape is now a mold of the red pen.

3. Neurons are the principal signal processing cells, just FYI. This quiz should be fine. Right?

4. I don't remember Spanish. At all. Nada.

5. People who freak out about sig figs are not people with whom I want to associate.

6. The title of my fictional album is Anecdotal Evidence.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Really?

Dear University,

I should not be able to get honors credit for having a uterus.

Until there is a similar group for my XY peers, I will not be attending your XX bonding events.

This has been Tarini the barely restrained feminist.

p.s. Angst. whoops. I got cookies out of it though.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Medicine and ethics

This post will be continually added to as I stumble upon important articles and topics for interview prep. Also, motivation. But feel free to join in the fun.






One day, I'll foray away from NYT.

Less angst, more biology

I love my textbooks. Especially the molecular cell bio one (not to be confused with "Molecular Biology of the Cell"- can you believe they're for different classes?). It's a fun read and I like that the figures are from original journal articles. Yesterday, I was mentally grumbling over having to annotate gene sequences for hours on end. Locating splice sites and branch sites, matching them against established consensus sequences, and defining untranslated regions seemed like busy work before I remembered--crap, my spliceosomes do this every day. They're probably doing it right now. And really frickin fast. With amazing accuracy. They do not have the entirety of Saturday, nor do they have textbooks and google to help. I stopped grumbling.

P.S. Thank you, evolution. I'm a big fan.

Sidenote on NY FW: I haven't been keeping up, because of the whole school thing. But those of you who live in Boston- could you hop over there? Just for a day or two?
Victoria's show was earlier today. Apparently it was "celebrating feminism and curves". Swoon. She is my favorite person in the entire universe, period. I cut my hair off for The Posh.

Side, side note: Obviously I do not expect feminism from my fashion. But when it's there, and without a big fuss (looking at you, Rodarte), it is a nice cherry on top. And Victoria sent her girls out with travel suitcases, not unwieldy purses or clutches. I like that a lot.

Obligatory Sunday fun.

"'If you wanted a toy, you had to make one,' he says."
Is going back in time your solution to whatever cultural malaise (disillusionment?) you seem to be feeling, Katherine? Come join us in the twenty-first century. We have mass-manufactured cookies.

And last time I checked, hobbies were supposed to be fun.

You guys! Texting means you're an adulterer. Wait, what?

EDIT: Turns out the above website is well-crafted satire. At least, I'd like to say it was well-crafted so I feel less dumb for believing it was real. Humor me?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Quotes

"Lysosomes are acidic organelles that contain a battery of degradative enzymes."

Biology pun!
What a sly textbook.

"When is a bump a bump, and when is it a dendritic spine?"

Good question, professor.

"Doppelganger hijinks ensue."

Indeed they did. I look forward to the next episode, vampire show.

"I have a video of a crab dancing. Will that work?"

Yes, Janet. Always.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Appointment television

1. I heart TV.
2. Really really excellent TV shows coming back this week and upcoming weeks.
3. There's like. Actual work to be done. Work with deadlines. And everything's infected again.
4. No time for TV.

:(

On the other hand
5. I'm seriously good at being a TA. For real. Those kids, when I teach them biochemistry, I can basically see their lives turning around. In their eyes. Also, hope.
Also
6. Maybe delirious right now? I'll probably delete this post later? This weird eighth grader interrogated me today; that was a draining experience.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Risks, Benefits, Alternatives

Of putting down the campy vampire books (not the ones you're thinking of) and going to school tomorrow:

Risks: Learning. Exercise. Healthy socializing.

Benefits: Learning. Exercise. Healthy socializing.

Alternatives: Sleeping. Hiding in lab. Sneaking into the OR. Aforementioned vampire books.

This exercise has not helped me reach a decision.

However! My sister made a "Back to School" devil's food cake. Only people who are going to school tomorrow can eat it. I have now reached a decision.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Commentary on the Human Condition

Just kidding. Aren't you glad?

School can start now. Then I won't have so much time to THINK.

It's getting annoying and always leads to fighting with the parents. Over it.

I have been informed I need to vacate the dining table aka my desk, my eating space, my TV space, my pillow, because we will actually be eating at it as a family when my grandparents arrive.

I'll be sure to ask them what they think about honor killings.

P.S. If you haven't already, please creep on Zach. He writes about poop sometimes.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Scattered snark

I hope the first day of school (and with it, my annual overpriced Jamba strawberry-granola-banana thing) re-energizes and motivates me. After three years of anything, I start itching to move to the next thing (I blame the parents).

I don't want to fight to stay awake in lecture and make flashcards and color-coded notes and stress about exams I will have forgotten in a month. I just want to remove that lady's optic glioma and restore her vision, or reconstruct that guy's spinal cord section so his legs aren't in constant pain.

Anyway, the first day is a lopsided 2:30 to 5:45 affair and will mostly consist of me stealing the free stuff from freshmen.

World-weary teenager. Like we haven't all seen that before.
Somebody give me a wake-up call.

Monday, August 30, 2010

15 down

I am exhausted and cranky, but I am done (with a day of August left, to boot).

Now we wait.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Freedom fighters

It is not difficult to shout about freedom, or liberty, or happiness, or other nice things. A happy side effect is that it is even less difficult to convince people that because you are shouting for freedom, someone--the dreaded "other"--must be shouting against it.

That's where Glenn Beck comes in.

I was going to write some things about his "Reclaiming Honor" rally, but you'd be better off reading this.

It really worries me when people who barely have a child's grasp of reality are in positions of influence.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

American

Father: Look at my new lawn mower! Do you want to sit on it? I am going to ride it to get cigarettes!
[Note: He is not a smoker.]

Me: You are really awkward.

Father: I am American.

Later...

Me: I'm going to get a haircut. Do you have any input to offer?

Mother: What input? You have chicken hair. Just tell them to give you shorter chicken hair.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Not exactly rocket science

It's a bit eerie to see a thin 20something young woman lying there completely unconscious, completely naked, her limbs being repositioned and sterilized by four female nurses, six male surgeons, being watched by two med students and one terrified undergrad, all of us completely hidden behind scrubs, caps, and masks.

She could be someone I know. Until they turn her around and I see the giant lump protruding from her shaved head. This isn't her first brain tumor.

A craniotomy is exactly as violent as it sounds. But there's more blood than you're imagining. The neurosurgeon I am shadowing, along with his resident, worked almost silently for two hours, occasionally adjusting the overhead light or their seating on the stools.

The med students kept trying to narrate the procedure to me (it seemed like a competition?) until they switched to asking if I was going to puke. "It's totally okay. It's normal to be queasy the first time. The important thing is you do something about it." Read: don't you dare do it on my shoes. These have to last through all my rotations.

A live brain looks significantly different from the kind I am used to seeing. I wasn't queasy, but I was definitely worried. I'll be seeing post-op patients next week and hope to see her. I'm also hoping I won't say something stupid like "Hi I've seen you naked!" or "That sure was a lot of blood!" or "Can you believe they just put a chunk of your head in a bowl on the counter?"

All in all, a far cry from the tedious, fat-snipping stomach stapling I saw earlier in the week.

Definitely up there on the Life-Changing Experiences list. Not in the way of writing a "Describe a life-changing experience" essay, more like, being grateful to my fifth-grade self for making a good decision.

Welcome, new readers (or, old readers of whom I have only recently become aware). I'm afraid my straight male readership is now heavily outnumbered.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Déjà vu

'“Woman suffrage wants the wife to be as much the ruler as the husband, if not the chief ruler,” warned one antagonist.'


"The feminist agenda disrespects men. Unconditional respect was pushed aside in favor of respect conditional on what men do for women and one man for one woman."


We've come so far.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Almost time

This is a feeling of rather wholesome tiredness after a day of eating burgers and doing the crossword and self-congratulation.

But I have to remind myself. August is almost over and there are 3 left and there are petitions to create and biochemistry to re-learn and data to quantify and clothes to sort by color and by sleeve length and backpacks to prep and mothers to appease and there is a lot of work to be done. It is not the time for self-congratulation.

I want to make a blogroll but it would consist of the whole internet.

It is the twenty-second and it is almost time to panic.

First!

Well, it got published.

I highly recommend delving into the comments section. My favorites are the ones that "don't buy" my, um, scientific evidence.

All studies cited are on my currently sick computer. I'll post them here when she's up and running.
Edit: here are cites.

Farr RH, Forssell SL, Patterson CJ. Parenting and Child Development in Adoptive Families: Does Parental Sexual Orientation Matter? Applied Developmental Science 14(3):164-178.

I can't find the original Pediatrics paper for this, but

P.S. Thank you Amelia for helping me brainstorm and edit. You are pretty cool!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Happy 90th!

"Woman's cause is man's: They rise or fall together."

A couple people need reminding of that, even now. (By "a couple people" I mean depressingly vast swaths of the country.)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Opinion Exchange

Half of my current tabs are different views on the proposed Islamic cultural center in Manhattan (more on that later, maybe). The other half are different views on Ke$ha's blue lipstick.

That about sums it up.

I don't have the energy to systematically refute every point in Kersten's column today. Maybe I'll write a letter to the editor, though. Hormones even get a mention! Link provided for your own amusement/disgust. Actually, really liking that letter idea.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Worried

I might be becoming a music person.
"It's a band," I heard myself saying. "You probably haven't heard of them. They're ungoogleable."

Also a:
bad feminist
bad Hindu (see below)
bad atheist (see above)

I was reading some of my old linear algebra proofs. They are laughably bad. At one point the TA had, justifiably, written "Why??" five times on one problem. I remember calling the professor at his house to ask him if I should drop out of the class. He said no, that I would need linear algebra for neuroscience.

I agree with everything in this blog post. Trying to add more thinking-y things to my regular blog reading. Many thanks to David for his contributions to that goal.

Rat #6 bit me today. It didn't hurt...except my feelings.

There was a teen self-help book I read with some zeal a few years ago. It suggested counting the number of times one says "I" in the course of a day, then cutting it by a certain fraction/amount/something. And almost every time I say "I" or type "I" I think of that book and feel guilty. And then think of another book: Ayn Rand's "Anthem". Whoops. Just outed myself as a

bad Objectivist.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Moving backwards

It seems my discussions with my mother have regressed in maturity/intellect. Where once we would have (unfailingly) dissected the American education system, with a few uterus jokes thrown in for good measure, it has now come to this.

The scene: my return from another fail day at lab.

Mother: Have you eaten any lunch?
(I should note that this is the first sign of strangeness. My mother does not inquire as to her children's health, only her guinea pig's.)

Me: Yes. I had cookies.

Mother: Cookies are not a lunch! Here, let me get you some rice.

Me: They were pretty big cookies...

Mother: Shut up and eat your rice.

Actually, that last bit hasn't changed.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Tips

Here are some useful things you can do with dark chocolate m&m's.

1. Mix with peanuts. Pretend they are peanut m&m's.
2. Mix into vanilla yogurt for a colorful, crunchy concoction.
3. Just eat them already.

On the occasion of this, my twentieth blog post (!!), I would like to thank you, reader, for sticking around. One of you is in the eastern hemisphere. One's in the southern hemisphere. One is from Australia, which basically takes care of the remaining quadrant. So could you say this blog is bringing the world together? Yeah, probably. Anyway. Thank you for reading my complaints on the internet, and probably listening to them in real life too. You are a good kid and I'm grateful to count you as a friend. One day I will tell you that outside of cyberspace, and maybe there will even be eye contact.

My favoritest singer accepted my friend request today (yes, this means creeping on her baby pictures). I was almost left inside a locked bus today (again). Are these two events related? I'll leave you to speculate.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Hustle and cuss

  • Spider solitaire is considerably more difficult than I remembered.
  • A few years ago my mother and I got our noses pierced together. I brought her pictures of puppies to distract her and held her hand. She still screamed. I apparently forgot about her pain tolerance issues when I suggested we get tattoos to celebrate our respective graduations...and she took it seriously. whoops.
  • Hormones get a bad rap. Actually studying endocrinology this year helped me appreciate how important and tightly controlled they are. So, people blaming their actions/mood/behavior on "hormones" make me cringe. Take responsibility for yourself already.
  • The dog is smiling at me. creep.
  • If I had any sort of credibility while cussing it would happen a lot more often. Wait, already have the facial piercings, leather jacket, mysterious scars, and imaginary tattoo. Maybe a motorcycle is key?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Faster than ice caps

  • Gold Peak tea is delicious.
  • A new College Board report says the country is 12th in terms of 25 to 34 year olds with college degrees. Canada, South Korea, Russia, Japan, New Zealand, Ireland, Norway, Israel, France, Belgium and Australia are all ahead of us. The NYT article I read this in was well-written but for one glaring problem: the writer consistently equated Lady Gaga and Snooki. ("Putting our brains on hold", Bob Herbert, 8/7/10)
  • Within fifteen minutes of being lined up on a table in view of each other, my rats start doing the same things at the same time--sleeping (in the same position, no less), grooming, whatever. Any ideas how/why this happens?
  • No seriously, gold peak tea, I need more.
  • I also found it interesting that the college board president "called on educators to develop curricula that are more 'interesting and inspiring.'" Err. Somehow I don't think that will help much.
  • "American politics is apparently cursed by the fatal allure of free cabinetry." Gail Collins = best NYT columnist? I think so. (First typed "communist" instead of "columnist".)
  • "The most horrifying of the lot was [the] green backless disaster, which looked like something a concubine would wear to the annual Harem Achievement Awards ('Harries')." Funniest clothing review I've read in some time.
  • I'm going to write a mystery novel where the identity of the killer is totally obvious and there are a bunch of clues and it should be open-and-shut, but through a series of hilarious mishaps and general displays of incompetency, the detectives still take the length of the novel to figure it out, by which time the reader thinks I must be pulling their leg, there's no way it could be that obvious, but then it actually is the obvious person, and the reader's mind is blown by the obviousness. Blam, bestseller.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

It's not the third

I blog too much. But think of it this way. It's a lot easier to ignore a blog post than a wall post.

I'm veering wildly between
1. Of course I'll get in. In fact I'll get in to multiple places. I'll get in to so many places I will bemoan having to choose between them.
2. Under what audacity did I spend so much of my parents' money applying this year. There's no way I will get in anywhere. One school has a ratio of 5000 applicants for 88 seats. Really? I'm going to beat those odds?

Currently in #2. The premed student forums don't help. Everyone there is insane. They raise my blood pressure like nobody's business. I can count the number of premed people I genuinely like on one hand.

There's a really cool combo of coffee, energy drinks, and self-doubt running through my veins. But it might just be all those existentialist webcomics.

Update: Pep talk received . It went like this.

Me: Mother. I'm having an existential crisis.
Mother: Again? Well, you have to have one every month or so to make sure you exist, I suppose. What is it this time? You won't get in anywhere?
Me: I won't get in anywhere.
Mother: Huh. That's okay. I'll teach you to make parathas.
Sister: You want her to be a housewife?!
Mother: No, no. She'll make parathas in tiffins for all the bachelors. Every day they'll pay her to pack tiffins.
Me: But they'll have creepy mustaches.
Mother: No, hire a delivery guy. You just make the parathas.
Me: (...)
Mother: I don't care if you don't want to write. Go.

And so I went and here we are. I'm good now.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Two cents

For what it's worth, Chelsea, I hope you have a fantastic wedding and successful marriage.

Her conduct on the campaign trail back in the '08 primaries was inspirational and a bright spot amongst all the quibbling that made me take a hiatus from following politics (a hiatus which has only recently ended due to some friends who are bad influences. Why can't you just let me watch trashy tv in peace?).
Some of the reactions to the event have been absurd and even disgusting. Bah. Shouldn't be surprising anymore.

Anyway, these essays would be done by now (maybe), except that instead of staring at them for three hours this morning, I went to yoga. Just let that sink in for a moment. This from a person who has not worn sweatpants since skipping joyously out of the last day of her last required gym credit. (It was gymnastics. My debate coach judged our final routine. Thankfully he agreed to a vow of silence on the topic.)

Anyway, I actually participated for about one and a half hours, then spaced out during the breathing exercises, because they are just not compatible with my lung capacity. But then. The instructor informed us we were going to play some games to reconnect with our childhoods. At this point I regretted not having followed my mother's advice to bring my own car. There was no persuading my family to leave early--my father gets really into these things, and my sister loves going places where they know her but not me.

The first game I survived using my patented, aggressive non-participation strategy, which has been gathering dust since NOL and welcome week. This involves refusing to move, even if you are "it". The second game involved, um, multiplication and Hinduism. I handled that one. Also, if multiple people believe 12 is a multiple of 5, I am going to make fun of them, regardless of how respected they are in the Indian community. Can't help it.

ETA: my whole body hurts. Owww.

Friday, July 30, 2010

TGIF

Healthy cell culture: clear pink liquid
Infected cell culture: pink liquid with sand-like stuff
Today: gloopy horrifying nightmare

insert profanities here

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Gah

Overslept again. I also think I'm sleepwalking. Waking up outside the 4-5 am hour messes up the rest of the day.

Pandora prescribes "vulgar Canadian glam-rap" and "Native American blues-rock". really?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Arsenic

Yesterday my fourth cell culture of July got infected. Today I un-infected them. Clearly, magical healing powers.

In other news. Can someone remind me why I'm taking an herbal supplement that has been banned in Canada due to unacceptably high arsenic content?

Oh yeah, because
"it's got to have some arsenic in it. For your skin."

Almost one-third done with applications!!1!!!

I heard an ad on the radio today that I thought was for some sort of skateboarding-equipment store. It was for Mormonism.

My mother is being interesting today. I don't really feel like picking a fight right now though. How is my sister so peaceful all the time? I fight with our parents enough for the both us, I guess. Well. Last year at home in any case. Except for the case where I don't get into med school.

Vampire shows would be more palatable if they didn't insist on pairing them with werewolves. At least with the vampires, some effort is put in to the mythology, i.e. their weaknesses and why they can walk around in the sun (hint: magic lotion and/or magic rings). But the werewolves just change with no regard to the moon! Uncool. Lupin frowns. And Seth from Buffy.

To everyone taking the mcat tomorrow: Believe in yourself. Get a good song stuck in your head right before. Use the sound-canceling headphones. Take all of your breaks. And breathe often. And then believe in yourself and your knowledge and your preparation a little more.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Redundancy

Warning: this is one of those Age Posts, so if you don't like those, I'd suggest skipping it.

In the multitudes of advisor meetings I had this year, whether that was my honors, scholarship, or major advisor, the question I received the most and which stumped me the most was, "Why?" Why go so fast? Why not take a year off? Or even three or four? To explore, to find yourself?

I couldn't come up with a good answer, more often than not sputtering, "Well...because." Because it's not in my nature? Because I feel prepared to move to the next stage? Because I never regret anything more than wasting time...but apparently that should be treated as some sort of psychological illness. How do you give a convincing, coherent response to a non-question? It's like answering, "So, why is your hair black again?"

I was thinking about this question and how positively inane, superfluous, even, it seemed to me, for one of my secondary essays: "Describe a difficult or challenging situation, how you coped with it, and support persons on whom you relied for advice." But because of my self-imposed ban on writing about anything remotely related to my age (or path, if you will), it was ix-nayed as a topic.

However. I'll definitely have to answer that question in interviews. And actually answer it. In one of my mother's thesis defense presentations (she recently received her doctorate in science education), she talked about the concept of a "spiral curriculum". Using the examples of Russia and India, among other countries, she described how, beginning at a young age, students received an introduction to all of the major science fields--biology, chemistry, physics--and how every year, that knowledge was built upon. So, retreading the same subjects, but always moving upward = spiral. That sounded amazing. I was disappointed with my performance in physics. But at least part of the reason it didn't go well is because I had exactly zero exposure to physics before 1301, taken in my senior year of high school. And on the flip side, how many times through middle and high school did we learn trends of the periodic table, without once touching solution chemistry? (Yes, still bitter about solution chemistry.)

Around the same time, Robin sent out an email about the results of the recent curriculum evaluation of our college. Number five on the suggested improvements stuck out: "Removal of redundancies in molecular biology teaching". Thank you. Half of biochem was a repeat of bio 2003. Half of genetics was a repeat of biochem. I expect half of cell bio to be a repeat of one or more of the above. I can't (fairly) complain about learning the same things in physiology as I have in neuroscience, because obviously not everyone has had those courses. But the molecular bio track is taken by everyone in this college (I think). Shouldn't it be pretty easy to streamline those courses? I was glad to see this reflected in an external review.

Anyway, sometime during essay brainstorming, that word came back to me: "redundancies". Some of the same material is taught over and over and over, whether that's in elementary, middle, high school, or college. You know what that is? Wasted time. That's not a pet peeve. That's a peeve so giant it has its own zoos and restrictions on air travel.

So I finally have an answer to "why". I have an answer to why I entered and left elementary school early, to why I tried my darndest to get out of middle school early, to why I left high school early, to why I think three years in college is more than enough, if used efficiently. Because it's my attempt at stripping away the redundancies, at concentrating a solution that's been diluted for no apparent reason. Because my path is actually normal. It's the "normal" path that's unnatural.

So, um, that was my epiphany.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Pre-epiphany

An exciting look into my Sunday evening! Get ready for the most boring live-blog (?) of your life.

5:24 pm
Really ought to be writing those essays. Pretty outlines mean nothing without full sentences somewhere along the line. Warning: I've just watched a bunch of British youtube videos, so this will be typed in an accent. It is now 5:25.

5:25 pm
I'll just stare into space until 5:30. Nice round number. Time. Nice round time.

5:26 pm
There are a lot of paint fumes in the house today. The kitchen has gone from a lovely cool green to...peach.

5:27 pm
Anybody have thoughts on that handwriting psychology business? Should I write my T's straight or curly?

5:28 pm
Nearing that official writing time. Pleeease don't let pandora play me non-writing-inducing nonsense. I mean, er, rubbish.

5:29 pm
A bit self-absorbed tonight, aren't we.

5:30 pm
!!!!
400 words. brb.

5:31 pm
Fudge it's Fall Out Boy.

5:42 pm
"mélange"= great word. So is "concomitant". The theme of this essay is "Cultural Dissonance" or, "A Rejection of the Melting Pot Narrative". Ooh.

5:46 pm
Cobra Starship is one of the few bands for which I can sniffle, "They were better before they went mainstream." No offense, Leighton.

5:56 pm
Want more cwoffee. But today's quota has already been maxed out.

8:13 pm
Update: Only 154 words written. I did however watch an episode of Psych and browse 15 pages of google images to find a new desktop picture (not involving Psych).

8:31 pm
A.H. hates the British :(
I bet she hates toast and puppies too.

8:36 pm
Valid excuse for not actually writing the essay: I'm waiting for the red bull to kick in. Totally valid. Crap I think it's kicking in.

8:54 pm
Okay, 292 words written. They're sort of in full sentences.

10:12 pm
mother: "I want some red bull. Wait, will it make me not be able to sleep? Does it have caffeine?" No, mother, it's the sedative of choice for an entire generation of postmodern adolescents.

10:55 pm
Intensive facebook creeping over. That took a lot out of me. Essay still not written. Good job, self.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Calm to the heck to the down.

Multiple strange things happened today.

1. Saw a *good* Indian movie.
2. Instead of waking up at 4, went to bed at 5, courtesy of Bad Movie Night, during which we accidentally watched a good movie (see #1).
3. Hand-outlined an essay. Um, I'm stuck on trying to explain why physicians shouldn't be racist. Isn't it too obvious to put into words?
4. Casually mentioned that I hadn't had Red Bull in awhile, after which my sister hopped on her bike and bought me one from the gas station. Whaa?
5. Turned out to be mediocre, not hair-clutchingly-awful, at laser tag. Technically, this was yesterday.
6. Was social (see #1,2, and 5).
7. Where did all these flowers come from?
6. Tweety cake.
7. I think I grew.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

To be afraid is a luxury

This is my "quit whining and get to work" song. In case you were wondering.




And yes, I do need to quit whining and get to work. 4th app almost done. The last sentence eludes me.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Eyeballs can yell, too

Don't you hate character limits? I now think in character limits. Was 200 short, now 100 over. Ugh, character limits.

At any given moment there are (an average of) five partially-empty beverage containers surrounding my computer. Possibly have drinking problem. Har, har.

I have been alive for 216 months. My new rats have been alive for 1.

Dear eyeballs, I drank three caffeinated beverages in the past hour, just for you. Won't you stop yelling now?

In other news, paragraphs do not exist. Sorry.

ACT report: "Your Interest Inventory Results do not show a clear preference for working with people, ideas, data, or things." It's like that episode of Malcolm in the Middle.

Intentional obfuscation

Marion Cotillard. That's really all I have to say.

Except: Cell culture infected, again. Yay!

I have multiple ice cream coupons that need using.

Certain people who are possibly reading this need to be studying for the mcat right now. Go on, shoo.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Crisis

Having a crisis. Don't worry, I'm required to have three per week. It's only Monday. Plenty of time for the other two.

Please let this cell culture not be infected. Not again.

Please let this energy drink not be expired. It's only been in the fridge for two years.

By the way, for the question, "Why have you chosen to apply to NYU?", "Because Gaga went there" is an acceptable answer, right?

Yesterday I learned that you cannot, in fact, get a tan by sitting near a bonfire.

Bye, childhood. You were, uhh. Here's a haiku for you:

Does this mean I can't wear
Hello Kitty anymore?
Must find time machine.

Returning to crisis mode.
Now taking a break from crisis mode. Procrastination mode!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sunday Newz

I'm really bad at mowing the lawn. Somehow managed to do half of the neighbor's lawn as well...not sure how that happened.

Highlights from today's newspaper (disclaimer: I only read the comics and Opinion Exchange):

"It's clear voters are both angry and confused" by Ann McFeatters
A concise description of a wide-reaching problem: Our form of government rests on an informed public and rational, meaningful debate. Whoops. As my first voting year (sorry to keep bringing that up) I feel a lot of pressure to learn about every side of every topic and every position of every candidate. Kind of overwhelming, but I would feel worse about voting nilly-willy, or not voting at all.


"Gay-marriage efforts build, ominously" by Katherine Kersten
I make it a point to read Kersten because she makes me clench my fists and not know whether to laugh or cry. Mostly the same for this column, but it raises some legal issues I hadn't thought of, mostly regarding churches/religious charities and their relationship to taxes. Plus the thing at University of California.

What do you guys think? Have these already been addressed by same-sex marriage supporters? Point me toward counterarguments if you know of them, please. Or write some, you all have nice pretty blogs.

3. http://www.gocomics.com/culdesac/2010/07/18/

Current favorite (physical) comic strip. I, too, suffer from drivelalia factosis.

Thank you for reading. The primary purpose of this post was to postpone writing that essay on the relationship between basic science and healthcare. On the (second) mcat I wrote two reasonably well-reasoned essays in under an hour...why can't that happen again?

In other news, the guinea pig is still a fat bum and my sister is officially faster, stronger, and taller than me.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

A like letter

Dear Sasha,

These are the reasons I like you.
You look like an alien, or a little baby wabbit.
Your voice is creepy and guttural, and speaks Russian. The only Russian I know is for the saying,"Wanting is not bad; bad is not wanting," which seems like a pretty useless saying.

You tweet about your husband sometimes, which is so funny because I can't imagine you being old enough to drive, much less to be married. Also, your English is

"I feel very privileged to be given this opportunities."

adorable.

These are the reasons we should be best friends:
  1. I will always hold your purse, if you want.
  2. I will correct your grammar, if you want.
  3. I will blindly support your burgeoning art career. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPt_W_2RgdU&feature=player_embedded)
  4. Everyone needs a token South Asian sidekick. I'd make a great second banana.
Sincerely,
your biggest under-18 English-speaking Asian female science-major fan

Dear reader,

Something happened with the font. I will fix it sometime, maybe. For now, back to writing secondaries and nagging professors.

Dear A.H.,

Can I call you Haszch?